Yes, I'm Scared

Night's is inching towards morning
In subtle silence and suggestive sluggishness
Mummified emotions and towering speechlessness
Are hugging the dark
Pulling me inside
The view-less visions vivacious.

Compelled to question myself
Am I scared of darkness of the night?
Perhaps I am,
Perhaps I am not,
It is the darkness of the heart
Wringing my every inch
The soul, the mind
The entrails,
And my skin - thread bare.

You are here, here by my side
No not present physically.

But like a thought
Thumping treads
Blowing trumpets
Beating drums --
A sloganeering brigade of dead
Celebrating ceremonies
Of dumping bodies dead.

Consuming my living self
Turning me into half dead
Enslaving me
Intermittently.
Slowly with your sugary syrupy sweet
Vastitudes
Of loving words;
Or with
Arrogant Attitudes of Arrogant you
And your
Uncompromising Obstinacy.

What you say
Has to be right always
And if not
You'll make it
If I disagree
You'll be a two year old
Spoiled Brat
Beat your feet on the ground
Cry hard and make me cry
Imbuing intolerable misery
All around.

You're a rich customer at the five star
Paying a big tip
To the waiter
Everyone loves waiting your table
But I'm not the waitress
I won't wait your table please
Nor will I be your whore
Doing striptease.

Yes, I'm scared,
So shiveringly scared
Scared of breaking up
Yet scared of continuing too.
Scared of the darkness outside
Scared of the troubled storms of troubled times
Troubling me inside.

For All the You, You Were...

Dedicated to everyone who has ever touched my soul in whatever way and have had a supportive and helpful standing in my life directly or indirectly, knowingly or unknowingly...

Things were shattered

If not shattered at least complicated

Pretty messed up you can say,

Everywhere yet nowhere

Like everything yet nothing

You held my hand and led me through

Those meandering roads of troubled times

And even if you didn’t do that bit

You stood somewhere with

Your amazingly enlightened smile

And things took better routes

Worked out well,

And if not very well

Just the fine

Much much better than

Bad and hateful.

You and you and you, just you, very you, only you, all that’s you

Made it up

When you could just like the whole world

Brought storms of turmoil

Making it all a great spoil

Blown up all with a mere wisp of air

Like you blow out the candles

When they aren’t needed anymore.

The Night Fall

It's the wedding of 

The fading Sun

with the Crimson

Twilight

Night is waiting 

Just for you

Forget your love

for the daylight.

Shadows are the Temptresses 

Tempting you throughout

They are the Divas -

In magical masquerades

Walking hand in hand

With Night.

As if Jon Duan

And His

Several of Mistresses

Walk across

The promenades

Of melancholy minds.

 

Lost Soul

                                                                    

                                                                    

                                                                    

                                            

My soul's lost

Like an enigmatic nexus incognito

Ruling my world in barricades

To have my self vetoed

Or it's the masochism of my being

And my heart's pounding hard

Sensing indefatigably

The chafing of every goose bump

Or heart beat's momentary slump

When passions fill

Insignificant rills

Down the face

From eye to chin

Permeating in wet jets of beady sets

Or streaming riots in total unrest.

Lover in the Mirror

I look into the mirror

And face myself

Thinking there resides

A lover with words of appreciation

Sadly, there's nobody

But for pure commerce

Offering the amount of depreciation

For my face value,

Body, mind, and soul.

Earlier it would smile,

Blink eyes

Like a 1940'2 diva

And throw kisses

All the while

Like a super star.

Would woo me,

Pursue me,

Inspire me to look good.

But now

It only  holds

A surface full of cracks,

Faded mercury coating,

And the spots of corrosion.

The world is running fast,

As if in short of time

Today's gone,

Perhaps tomorrow too

won't last.

And the pictures

Of the past

Flood the frozen eyes

when the mirror -

A perfect iconoclast

Break the images of the present

And only

A distorted reflection of self

broodingly lasts

broodingly last... 

A Prayer

life has it's own reservations
at its various stations.
let  at every crossroads
you're faced with
never ending celebrations.

let your everyday be full of smiles
tears be locked on
forsaken isles
and the criss-cross lines in your palms
fill happiness in 
the journey of your life
miles after miles.

you look around
only to find
Gods getting kind
in blessing you unbound
and be astound
to get, set and let
masts of your wishes
filled with happy winds abound.

May today, tomorrow and every day

in every possible way 

you are brought happiness forever
may you live like an utmost reveler
unshaken, fearless, felicitous traveler.

The Sun in my Eyes

Just a year back
there were so many suns
the rising sun, the morning sun
the shining sun, the evening sun
the setting sun, the crooked sun
the slant sun and the sun
in my heart deep
and the sun in my eyes
that didn't let me sleep
and made my pains arise
and didn't let me close
those blank eyes
that permanently froze
with furious fire within
that burnt throughout the day
and purposelessly stay'd
lurking in those black beads
making an invisible yet invincible
smoke trickle through
the corners
of rain-solidified,
cresent shaped eyes
with vision vaguely immutable.

Overtly Dejected

Darkness is getting

Darker still;

Distilled with severity,

In the endless wait of

The bright lights of

Hope.

The chimeras of anguishes

Are filling up

The dejected heart

Moving toward limitless

Infirmity of emotions.

Know not where

It’s taking

Know not

What it wants.

The high skies

With mysterious cries

Are

Pulling every inch

Of sensibility.

Lonesome Heart's Shore

Quite quiet are the noisy uproars

Of the lonesome heart’s shores.

Telling the pondered thoughts

But in a sorrowful silent lore

That the heart bore

Heavily in heavy tears’ store.

Limitlessly trickling tears

No more stay stored

In the hidden eye cores.

Dampening the whitened face

Eroding all its grace

They trickle trickle trickle

All the way alone.

Strange Gurgle

My blood’s gurgling

Throughout the passages

And the closed spaces

While getting

Instilled

In the

Oxygen stale

Forcing the dead spirits

To continue living

Believing and giving

Senses to senses lost.

Hear me how I howl

Chaotically scowl

 And sing songs secretly

 With the secret rhythms

 Of the gurgles strange

 Resonating  restlessly

 Through my body pale

 Like a mysterious gale

 Arousing

 The dead from the graves.