Happy Graves

A dark patch will always remain
A mark on my sanity
Turning me insane
Assemble all the things
You know
I'm sure you'll steal the show
And I'll win
The battle too
All that was
Held up centuries ago
Going on and on
Somewhere on my mind
Perhaps there comes a dawn
Or the dusk will forever
Pull on along
Cures are bottled up well
Preserved, refrigerated
Feeling giddy
So long gyrated
You still make me believe
We are living on
I thought the life is over
All restless but in resting
Under psychopathic cover.
All shrouded so well
The graves happy graves...

What is Love?

                                             
what is love
do i need to define it well?
or it is you
who in my every dream will tell
or sit and write a book
on me and you
remember you said you'll write
about us 
filling your every wild guess
on what love is and
add every cheerful touch
announcing to the cosmos
the love of us.

Love was perhaps when
In every step of dance
I'd place my feet on yours
and happily you'd carry
my weight on you
delicately holding my hand
you'd say, "I love you".

Love was perhaps when
we'd go running like kids do
catching butterflies a few
smelling the flowers new
in the park on Sunday afternoons
or when building sand castles
on the lonely beaches
fight over who's castle's big
or play  the game of tig
collect sea shells
or spot out dirty looking leeches.

Or perhaps in the evenings when
we'd eat from the same plate
you'd drink away my buttermilk
seeing me getting late
and at balcony window we'd smoke
from the same cigarette
you'd kiss, when I'd cough
pretending to be strong and tough
looking out of the window
thinking of nothing, all blank.

What is love
I ask a million times
and try writing in rhymes
perhaps in Jennifer, or Lily
Kuntal or Kavya
the names of our daughters
never born,
love finds a refuge
tho' all is subterfuge 
I still call out to them loud
play with them, drop them school
perhaps love is still to born
or a child still born
or it is now all blank
blank forever, 
looking out of the same window.

Sorry Papa

papa you gifted me
a diary of lovely pages
sorry I couldn't do
anything good using it
only made paper plane
to fly in the sky
and paper boats
to float in the water canals.

papa you gifted me
a garden of thousand roses
sorry I couldn't' do
any good using it
only plucked them all
to be sold in the market.
and some to decorate
the place of worship
and some I gave away
to strangers, world call as friends.

papa you gifted me
a box full of dreams
and asked to keep them safe.
sorry I couldn't do
any good with them too.
only broke them all away
and now I stand with the broken pieces
scattered everywhere around me...

Good Night

It's the time

To go slow

And throw

Your head

On to the pillow

And Sleep

Silently weep

For no one's around

And the day is over.

Since morning

You hid your tears

Back-lashing fears

Thumping heartbeats unclear.

It's the time

To crack them all

Break all walls

And be the you

The you that you are

Foolishly sad

Stupidly bad

And insanely hellish...

It's the time

to say

Goodbye long day

Good night please stay

And be lost

In dreams forever...

Father and I

I keep the TV set

Turned on

In Your room

And I am let

To live on

Thinking You're alive.

When I feel

A little ill

I close my eyes

And kill

What's real

That's how I heal.

I sink deep

Into the memories

There you keep

Your warm hands

On my forehead

And place the pillow

Softly under my head.

You sit beside me

Talking sweetly

And I smile

Smile so happily...

Bereavement

I've preserved your smell

Deep down my senses:

Rusted nails hammered 

Straight on an old wall.

And your presence

Is the sweet fragrance

Of the winter flowers,

That bear your remembrance

From the winters

Of the yester-years.

When you dosed on

Sitting in your cot

Watching your favourite

Evening T.V. show.

And every time when 

The door of your room

Opened outside,

Ushering the fragrance in.

You woke up

Looking outside

Wearing a smile thin.

The door still brings

Fresh flower perfumes

Your room is empty

Ever since you left

Walking out through the door.

I've held in my eyes

Your face serene

Shrunken in weakness

Dried up before age

With asthmatic breathing

Air entering mouth

Never leaving out in whole;

The fragrance was irritating

Annoyance for your soul.

I never enjoyed

The sweet smelling flowers

In completion.

Left the task on rest

For the season next,

The winter to come.

Never knew the winter this year

Will be dumb

With your absence felt

And memories 

Spread around

Like songs

Silently hummed... 

Ringing Telephone

Phone's ringing

No, I won't pick it up.

It keeps ringing

Ringing all the time.

A friend, a colleague,

A sales adviser, a telemarketer,

A wrong number, some irritating caller.

Poor phone rings

Hundred times a day.

Earlier I waited

For it to ring once in a while.

My father  would call

And his voice would fill the home.

Now hes absence fills it all,

Nobody laughs out loud, nobody talks,

Nobody watches TV, nobody listens to songs.

No phone calls, no long talks

Nobody's on the other line.

Sorry phone,

Keep ringing on, and on...

Walking into the Water

I'll simply walk into the water
step by step
one more step
a few more steps
and water will start filling me in
first my feet
then till my knees
then around my naval
then a little more up
a little more up
drowning me till neck
silently, softly, smoothly
kiss my chin and my lips
cover my nose

I won't breath
enter in my ears
blind my eyes

I won't walk anymore

my head will not be seen
water will take me in
in its vast arms with love
step by step
deeper and deeper
into its bosom
forever and ever...

I'm Insanity

I’m insanity

Madness in versatility

Do not ridicule me

I’m ridiculous virginity.

Yes, I’m a woman

The harbinger of maternity

You’ve tested me

A lot for my fidelity.

It’s time

To be infidel now

Be reproachable –

Lady Infidelity.

Because you want

Everything perfect

I’ll ruin it all

I’m the savior

Of mediocrity;

I leave not

A single ruinous possibility.

Enough of your

Male chauvinistic

Inhumanity

I’m here to break

The timeless rigidity.

I’m the lusterless graphite

With the sharpness

Of a diamond.

I’ll blind you

I’m the blinding brightness

Brighter than infinity.

Bad Times

Life you betrayed me

Left me in trauma 

Trauma of being me

Beginning in comma
Clingy and un-free.
Striving in bad times
Making me unholy.

Now I wait

For a full stop finally
Inside an adamant matrix,
 I'm killed subliminally;
Alive on the above
Rotting dead within.

Loving life my princess

You gave me bad times 

Noncumulative mathematically.

Killed me, exploring my tissues

Figuring out the cartilages,
Poking the entrails
Chomping on me ravenously
You ate away
Everything mechanically.